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Shining Force translation topic

Japanese text translation

Discussion about the original classic Genesis/Mega Drive game. Posts about the GBA remake belong in the forum below.

Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Mew seeker » Fri May 29 2009 1:26am

Here is the rest of the dialogues from the castle.


Minister:
I was so scared...
Kane...
His single glance froze me!

こ 恐かった…カイン…
あのひとみを見ただけで
恐ろしくて 剣もぬけなかった…

It, it was scary... Kain...
Just by having looked at that person,
I was afraid I would not escape his blade...


Girl in the left of the room behind the king :
Will your journey take you to
the town of Manarina?

あなたたち 旅に出るなら
マナリナにも行くわよね?

If you guys are leaving on a trip,
are you going to Manarina?


If you say no :
Oh. That's too bad....

そうなの? ざんねんねえ…

Is that so? That's too bad, huh...

If you say yes :
Then see Princess Anri! She
can help you.

だったら アンリ様に会えるわよ!
きっと あなたたちの力に
なってくださるわ

If it's the case, meet with Anri-sama!
Surely she will lend you
her help to you guys.


Girl in the rigth of the room behind the king :
Tell Tao "Good Luck" for me,
won't you? She'll need it.

あんたたち 旅に出るんだって?
ルーンファウストのヤツらを
やっつけに 行くのね…
え? タオも行くの?
だったら あの子に つたえてよ
…がんばっておくれって

Are you saying you guys are leaving on a trip?
You are going to attack
those Runefaust guys, huh...
Eh? Tao is coming too?
In that case, tell to that child
..."good luck/keep going".


House to the left of the castle :
-Old man :
Sigh. I can't believe the
king is dead.

そうですが… 王様が…
わしより はやく てんごくに
めされるなんて…うっうっう

It is so... the king-sama is...
Even more I am quickly called (?)
to heaven... hu hu hu (?)

I'm not so sure about the end. ^^;
Does he actually say that there is not much for him anymore
now that the king died?


-Girl:
Sniff...I was so...frightened.
I saw this in a dream.
I saw it...

えーん えーん コワかったよう
ゆめが ゆめが ホントになるなんて

enn enn in a way that was scary (?)
the dream, the dream truly became true.

Something like that.
I'm not sure how to deal with the "you" よう in the first line.


-Girl's mother:
I'm so glad to hear that my
husband's still alive!

うちの人 だいじょうぶかしら…
いえをまもるって ひとりで
のこってるんですよ…

I wonder if my husband is fine...
He remained by himself
to protect the house...

Not exactly the same in this version. X D

Left wounded guard at the castle entrance :
Good luck, Max.

がんばってください マックス殿

Please don't give up Max-dono.

Rigth wounded guard at the castle entrance :
Defeat Runefaust!

我々にかわって ルーンファウストを
やっつけてください!

Taking it over from us, please
attack Runefaust!


Old woman in the room above the king's room :
The king is dead...who shall
lead us now, with Anri far
away?

…王様のことは きいたよ
きっと ヤツらを
やっつけておくれよ…
あんたのことは わすれないよ

...I have heard about the king-sama.
Surely, you will be
attacking those guys...
I won't forget about you.


Treasure room's guard :
The treasure...they took all
they could carry. Get it
back, Max!

…た たいへんだ!
ガーディアナの宝が
力づくで ぬすまれてしまった!
たのむ マックス殿
宝を とりもどしてくれ!

... it's, it's awful!
Guardiana's treasure
was stolen by force!
I beg you Max-dono,
take back the treasure!

Maybe it's just me but the U.S. version make it sound
like they stole stuff like money and such. : P


Mage at the bottom of the tower :
Talk to the old man in the
chapel. He knows much.
Perhaps he can advise you.

ふういんのカギを さがしに行くと?
ならば 教会のろうじんを
たずねてみるがいい
あの人は むかし 戦士だったときく
ルーンたいりくの あらゆるとちを
たったひとりで 旅してきたらしい

Are you looking for the seal key?
In that case, it would be a good idea
to ask the old man at the church.
I have heard that person was a knight long ago.
Apparently he travelled only by himself
in every bits of the Rune continent.


Old man near the telescope :
Blasted telescope! What good
is it if I couldn't spot the
Runefaust army with it?

くう わしとしたことが
ルーンファウスト軍のせっきんに
すこしも 気づかんかったとは…
これからは ちかくも見える
とおめがねをつくらねば!

Kuu, the things below by me(?),
that I noticed little of
the Runefaust army approaching...
Because of this/from here, if only a telescope (?)
looking in the neighbourhood wasn't made! (?)

Another one that give me trouble.
Maybe he means that because he was so busy with the telescope,
he didn't noticed the invasion?


****************************************************

Next time, I should be able to finish Guardiana.
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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Flygon » Fri May 29 2009 9:56am

So much more obvious on why they were invaded here. :thumbsup:
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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Mew seeker » Sun May 31 2009 2:50am

>>>>>>>>>>>So much more obvious on why they were invaded here.

Well, this is one of the part I would like to double check by someone else. X D

Anyway, here is the rest of Guardiana here.
Actually, several parts here give me trouble.
It's the main reason I wait so long before posting a translation. :\

Wounded guard near the church:
We'll hold out, never fear!

私もマックス殿に まけぬよう
りっぱに この国をまもります!

I too won't lose to Max-dono. (?)
I will splendily defend this country!


Priest :
May the Powers of Light be
with you and with all of the
Shining Force!

私には わかっていました
おおいなるさだめに みちびかれ
あなたは 旅だつ…
そしてその旅は あなたのきおくを
さがす旅でも あるです
…つらい旅になるでしょう
しかし くじけてはいけません!
あなたの行く道には いくつもの
光があつまるのです!

I have realized (?) about me. (?)
Guided by a great fate,
you are starting a travel...
And in that travel you are also looking
for your lost memories.
... it will be a painful travel.
But don't be discouraged (?) !
In your ongoing road the light
of many will gather!

Maybe the first line is instead "I have understood/realized"?
Not too sure if the 7th line is 100% exact either."


Woman at the church:
Go, Max. Our hopes go
with you!

王様やバリオス様が しぬなんて
この国は どうなるんだろう?
もう 神様だけだよりだよ

The king-sama and Varios-sama are dead.
What shall this country become?
Again (?) it only rely on (?) God-sama.

Or maybe something like "only God know"?

Old man at the church:
Hello, Max. I know a
legend that may help you.
Will you hear it?

よくぞたずねて くださった
わしのはなしを きいてくれるかい?

You did well for coming to receive(?).
Will you listen to what I have to say?

Not sure about the first line.
he seems happy we came to him.


If you say no :
Those who despise wisdom are
foolish indeed.

そうかい また いつでもおいで

Is that so? You can come at any time.

If you say yes :
Somewhere on Rune is a land
of the Ancients. The key to
the gate might be there.

こういう でんせつがあるんじゃ‥
このルーンたいりくの どこかに
いまでも 古代の神々の国がある
神々のいさん…とやらのことも
そこに行けば わかるかもしれん
おぼえておくがええ

There is such a legend...
Somewhere in this Rune continent,
even now, in the ancient gods country is
the legacy of the gods... among others things too(?).
Should you go there, you might understand
how to remember (?), yes (?).


Man in the house that had a cart in front of it :
We'll protect Guardiana. You
worry about foiling
Runefaust's evil plans.

この国は オレたちでまもっていくよ
あんたたちは あんしんして
旅をつづけてくれ!

This country, we are going to protect it.
You guys, in peace (of mind)
keep on your travel.


Old man near the inn:
It's a mystery to me why
Runefaust attacked us.

ルーンファウストは なんのために
このガーディアナを
せめてきたんですかな

For what purpose did Runefaust
came attacking
here, Guardiana?


Man in the inn:
Hmmm. Runefaust? But that's
clear across the sea!

私は旅の者ですが
いったい なにがあったのですか?
ルーンファスト軍におそわれた?
でもまてよ‥たしかあの国は
うみのむこうに ある国ですよ

I am a traveller but
what on earth what was it(?) ?
You were attacked by the Runefaust army?
But wait... if I'm not mistaken that country
is a country beyond the sea
.

Inn owner:
Alterone? It lies to the
northeast.

アルタローン国?
あの国なら ほくとうの方にあるよ

The country of Altaron?
If it's that country, it is in the northeast direction.


Wounded man near the town's entrance :
Alterone is an ally of ours.
I wonder if it was also
attacked by Runefaust.

アルタローンは どうめい国だ
…いまごろ ルーンファウストに
やられて しまっているのだろうか?あ

Altaron is an allied country.
...at this time, it must have been completely
damaged (?) by Runefaust?

Not 100% sure about the last sentence, but it does sound bad for Altaron.
Also, I need to double check if that last あ was there in the game script
or if I type it by mistake. ^^;


Bar owner:
Beware of ambushes! The road
is long and dangerous!

ルーンファウストのヤツらは
まだ このちかくを
ウロウロしているらしいよ
町のそとに行くなら きちんと
したくをしたほうが いいぜ

Those Runefaust guys
are apparently still loitering
in this vicinity..
Should you go outside of town.
it would be a good idea to be perfectly prepared.


Dog near the dog house :
Woof! Arf! Woof!

わんっ! わんっ!

Wann! Wann!

Woman in the basement of the house near the dog house :
Tell Grandpa Gort to fight
hard!

ゴートおじいちゃんに つたえて!
あたしも がんばるから
おじいちゃんも がんばってって!

Tell to grandpa-chan Gort!
Because I am doing my best too,
grandpa-chan too do his best!

Awww. ^^

Guards near the town entrance :
Good luck, Max!

がんばってください マックス様!

Please keep going Max-dono!

Battle # 3 - To Alterone :
Nova:
Max! Enemies await
you on the road to Alterone.
Take all precautions!

マックス殿 アルタローンへの道に
敵がまちうけていますぞ!
しょうめんから ぶつかるのは
きけんです!

Max-dono, on the road to Altaron,
enemies are awaiting!
To strike from the front
would be trouble!

That's a bit more useful to hear. : )

*When you win the battle*

Nova:
Excellent! Kane will have to
do better than that to stop
you. On to Alterone!

マックス殿 敵はすべて
うちたおしましたぞ
アルターロンへ むかいましょう!

Max-dono, the enemy were completely
defeated.
Let's advance to Altaron!


*******************************************************
That's it for tonight. ^^
We're leaving Guardiana for good. :p
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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Flygon » Sun May 31 2009 2:55am

Eh, for some of these I will admit the American edition has some better scripting, mainly:
Nova:
Excellent! Kane will have to
do better than that to stop
you. On to Alterone!

マックス殿 敵はすべて
うちたおしましたぞ
アルターロンへ むかいましょう!

Max-dono, the enemy were completely
defeated.
Let's advance to Altaron!

Thanks for the brilliant translations. ;)
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Destructiox: ;_;
Flygon: Wiz actually got in the chopper
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Destructiox: :D
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Destructiox: ;_;
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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Martin III » Mon Jun 01 2009 12:43am

I'm actually surprised that so much of the town-wandering dialogue was kept intact in the English version. I had always assumed that translation teams just made up their own town-wandering dialogue, since translating the original is a lot of extra trouble for dialogue that isn't important to the plot and which may not properly translate to Western language and culture anyway.
"Sir Reginald, Duke of Chutney! ...And don't stick your tongue out at me, kid." - Disney's Robin Hood

"Hey, where's my Holy Grail?!" - Shining Tears X Wind
"Sir Reginald, Duke of Chutney! ...And don't stick your tongue out at me, kid." - Disney's Robin Hood

"Hey, where's my Holy Grail?!" - Shining Tears X Wind
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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Mew seeker » Wed Jun 03 2009 12:53am

>>>>>>>>>I'm actually surprised that so much of the town-wandering dialogue was kept intact in the English version.

It's funny, I didn't see it this way.
When I look at a Japanese text from a game,
I am thinking things like :
"This was changed, this too, this too.
This was changed a little.
This wasn't changed much but nuance was lost.
Hey, that wasn't changed at all!" : P

Anyway, doesn't making new text mean starting over from scratch,
which means extra work anyway?

Today, here is some part of the town of Manarina.
It's incomplete but I didn't want to make people wait to long
and it would have took some place as well.

Alterone

Man at the entrance:
Welcome to Alterone,
stranger!

アルタローンにようこそ!

Welcome to Altaron!

Old woman in the house near the entrance :
I hear there's an underground
passage in the castle. Sssh!
Let's keep it a secret.

お城には 王様がつくらせた
ひみつのちかどうが あるらしいよ

In the castle, it seems a secret passage
was built by the king-sama.


Bookcase in her house :
It's a Flat, Flat World,
The King and Us,
and many more books.

「このよはたのし」
「王様と私たち」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"This world ???" (???)
"The king-sama and us"
There are various books.

For the first book, without any kanji to help,
your translation is as good as mine.
"tanoshi" could be based on "tanoshii", "fun".
Or it could be "tano-" "others" followed by "shi" which could mean
a (male) man, a child, a lineage, a market/city, death and a few others meanings.
I don't know if the translators for the U.S. version got as much trouble as me
but if they did, their translation is understable.


Villager in the south west corner of town :
That woman over there gives
me the creeps. They say she's
a witch!

あの うらないしのオネーサンて
すげえ びじんだぜ…
あー もろに おれこのみ…

That (young woman) fortuneteller over there
is incredibly beautiful...
Ah, she is definitively my type (to my liking)...

Hmm....

Woman in blue with purple hair :
Greetings, Max. With my
powers I can see the future.
Care to know your fate?

私は うらないしのミシャエラ
あなたは じぶんのみらいを
見たいとは おもいませんか?

I am the fortuneteller Mishaela.
You, don't you feel like you would like
to see in your own future?

Hey, we get to hear her name. : P

If you say no :
If you are too scared to hear
my words, how can you hope to
survive the trials you face?

まあ 人は見かけに よらないものね
さようなら よわむしさん

Well, a person appearance is not something you can depend on, huh.
Good bye, mister coward.

How manipulative. : P

If you say yes :
Death lies to the north. Go
back to Guardiana, for your
doom awaits if you continue.

ここから きたにむかう道…
リンドリンドやマナリナへ道に
大きな力があつまっているわ…
それはルーンファウストの騎士たち
あなたたちの力では とっぱできない
あなたのみらいに 光は見えないわ
いますぐ 旅をおやめなさい

From here, the road going to the north...
A great power is gathering
on the road to Lindolindo and Manarina...
Those are the Runefaust knights.
With your group strenght you can't break through.
In your future the ligh cannot be seen.
Stop your travel at once.

Much more detailed.
Would you have stopped playing if you heard that? : )


Villager near headquarters :
Danger? From Runefaust? Ha!

ルーンファウストのしんりゃく?
よせやい そんなこといったって
だれも しんじないよ

Runefaust's invasion?
Hmmp I do not trust anyone
related to (???) such thing said.

I have problems to properly translate "yoseyai".
I think he doesn't take us seriously.


Woman to the east of headquarters :
The Ancients, Darkness,
Runefaust? Sorry, those things
don't concern us.

神々のいさん? ふういんのカギ?
それがどうしたっていうの?
まいにちが たのしければいいのよ

The legacy of the gods? The seal key?
What on earth are those things?
It would be nice if I could have fun everyday.


Woman standing next to water :
Watch out! I don't want you
to splash mud on my beautiful
new dress!

見てよ 見てよ!
私のドレス きれいでしょ

Look, look! (look out?)
My dress is pretty/clean, right.


When you push the cart toward her, she say :
What a rude thing to do!

きゃー! だれよー!

Kyaah! Who!

Then, when you talk again to her, she say :
Mud all over my new dress!
Arrggh, I can't stand it!

あー 私の あたらしいドレスが
ドロだらけ! きー! ゆるさない!

Ah, my new dress is
full of mud! Kii! I won't forgive you!


*She move next to you*
I'll get you!

こうしてやる!

I'll do this/get you this way!

*She push you in the water.*

Man in the priest house :
The king called the friar to
the castle. I always wanted
to stand up here.

神父様なら 王様によばれて
お城に行っていますよ
ふふふ…私 いちど
ここにたって みたかったんですよ

If it's the father-sama, he is going to the castle
called by the king-sama.
Fufufu... once
I have wanted to try standing here.


Bookcase in that house :
The books are written in a
language unknow to
Max.

…ろくなひんが おいてない!

... there are no good things on!

Old Woman in the nort east corner of town :
You haven't seen my daughter
Khris around, have you? She
wants to be an adventurer!

このところ お城がさわがしいのお
見かけん者が
おおぜい 出はいりしとるよ

Isn't the castle in this place noisy?
There are many people I didn't get
to catch a glimpse that are going in and out.

No mention of Khris here.
Maybe the translators wanted us to know about her this soon?


Old man in the nort east house :
Money makes the world go
'round, youngster. And don't
you ever forget it!

王様は じぶんのことしかかんがえん
わしらが金のことばかり
かんがえて どこが悪いのだ

The king-sama isn't thinking only about himself.
That we think about nothing
but monetary things is somewhere/somewhat (?) bad.


Bookcase in his house :
Gold Coins of the World,
101 Places to Hide Money,
and mamy more books.

「お金もちになるには」
「ざいさんづくりのコツ」
いろいろなほんが ならんでいる

"About/how to (?) becoming a rich man" (litterally, "gold possessing")
"Property/fortune/assets building skill"
There are many books.


Sign on the wall of the item shop :
Ye Olde Item Shoppe

「道具のみせ」

"Tool shop"

Items seller:
Welcome, welcome! Come on in
and browse. Nothing but the
best here!

旅に出るなら道具がいるぜ!
うちは道具屋だ べんりな道具が
たくさんあるぜ

If you are leaving on a trip, here are tools!
The house/inside is a tool shop. There are plenty of
useful tools.


Fisherman:
I love to fish. Hey, a bite,
I feel a bite! Don't just
stand there, help me pull!

つりはいいぞ 金がありすぎて
おもたくなった 私の心を
かるくしてくれる
ん? かかった かかったぞ!
すまんが わしのせなかにまって
ひっぱってくれんか?

Fishing is good. When money have took
too much room (in my mind/heart), I am coming to
lighten my mind/heart.
Hm? It's caught, it's caught!
Sorry but, while waiting in my back,
won't you come to pull?


If you talk to him again but not from his back :

サカナがつれるまで
わしは ぜったいにあきらめんぞ

Until I catch a fish,
I will absolutely not give up.

I need to double check but I think
there are no specific U.S. equivalent to this text here.


When you help him to pull :
Wow! It must be a whale. Pull
again!

おお かかっとる!
もういちど ひいてくれ!

Oh, it's caught!
Come pulling one more time!


One more time!

もういちどじゃ!

One more time!

I caught it!

おお つりあげたぞ!

Oh, I pulled it in!

Drat! More gold coins?
Shucks, I thought I had a
fish. Just toss 'em back.

ん? こりゃあ 金ののべぼうだ
じゃまになって わしがすてたヤツだ

Hm? That's gold bards.
Being in the way I thew them away (before). (?)

Those are gold bars, not coins.
Someone threw them away.
And if I understand right, he's the one who threw them away. X D


*You see water splashing*

Here, fishee, fishee, fishee!

ここじゃサカナはつれないか…
はあ つまらない…

I am not getting any fish here...
Ha, boring...

Well, considering gold bars are thrown in the lake... : P

If you talk to him again :
I'm not going to give up!

サカナがつれるまで
わしは ぜったいにあきらめんぞ

Until I catch a fish,
I will absolutely not give up.

The same Japanese text from sooner,
but now with a U.S. text equivalent.
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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Flygon » Wed Jun 03 2009 6:34am

Meanwhile, your walls of texts have actually broken the background image for this page of the topic.
The hexman of #sf2hack
#sf2hack @ irc.darkmyst.org wrote:Lord_Oddeye: GET TO THE CHOPPER
Destructiox: :D
* Wiz has quit (Exit: Quitte)
Flygon: Oh, now look what you did
Destructiox: ;_;
Flygon: Wiz actually got in the chopper
The hexman of #sf2hack
#sf2hack @ irc.darkmyst.org wrote:Lord_Oddeye: GET TO THE CHOPPER
Destructiox: :D
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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Martin III » Wed Jun 03 2009 11:10pm

Mew seeker @ Wed Jun 03, 2009 12:53 am) wrote: Anyway, doesn't making new text mean starting over from scratch,
which means extra work anyway?

A third as much work, if that. I've written stories and I've translated 'em, and it doesn't take anywhere near as much time to come up with your own stuff as it does to figure out what some other guy was trying to say. And mind you, my second language is Spanish. A language with an actual alphabet, pronouns, grammar which always has an obvious translation to English, and lots of nice cognates. I don't even want to know what kind of time it takes to properly translate something from Japanese.

Very cool how they didn't try to make it clear that Mishaela is a villain right from the start. Me being me, I didn't jump to that conclusion until she showed up at the circus tent anyway, but the translators' intent was plainly to put a big red "villain" sign over Mishaela.

Interesting about Khris, too. Is there any indication in the original script that that woman is Khris's mother?
"Sir Reginald, Duke of Chutney! ...And don't stick your tongue out at me, kid." - Disney's Robin Hood

"Hey, where's my Holy Grail?!" - Shining Tears X Wind
"Sir Reginald, Duke of Chutney! ...And don't stick your tongue out at me, kid." - Disney's Robin Hood

"Hey, where's my Holy Grail?!" - Shining Tears X Wind
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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Mew seeker » Fri Jun 05 2009 2:55pm

>>>>Meanwhile, your walls of texts have actually
>>>>broken the background image for this page of the topic.

Hum, what? Is it bad? ^^;;;

>>>>Is there any indication in the original script that that woman is Khris's mother?

As far as I remember, no. Maybe they wanted to put a big red "important character" button on Khris? : P

Anyway, here is the rest of the town.


Sign in the middle of town :
"Private property!
Trespassers will be glared
at!"

「このとちは ワシのもんじゃ!
かってにはいるな!」

"This land/soil is mine!
You can't enter it of your own accord!"


Old man near that sign :
Hey! Can't you read the sign?
Don't make me glare at you!

かってにロウロウするな!
ここは わしのとちだぞ もうすぐ
ここに でっかいやしきをたてるんだ

You can't loiter of your own accord!
Here is my land. Very soon,
I will build a huge mansion here.

That's the reason he don't want anybody here.

Man to the rigth of the castle entrance :
Don't judge our king too
harshly. He's pretty good, as
kings go.

王様は宝がだいすき!
でも とってもやさしくて
いい 王様だよ

The king-sama love treasures a lot!
But he is a very kind
good king-sama.

They're nicer in the original.

Man in front of the castle entrance :
Don't stand in front of the
drawbridge. You're liable to
get run over by the traffic.

お城にチッポという子がいるんだ
おれ その子がすきでさ…
まいにちここで まってるんだ
でも さいきんは 城のそとに
ぜんぜん出てこないんだ
なにか あったのかな?

In the castle, there is a child called Chip.
I like that child but... (?)
Everyday I am waitting here
but lately outside of the castle
(Chip?) didn't leave/appeared at all.
Did something happened?

Here is the first real mention of Chip.

Woman in the north west corner of town :
There have been a lot of
strangers visiting the castle
lately. A regular parade.

さいきんは なにかへんね
よその国の人が よく お城にでいり
しているみたいなの

Lately, something is weird.
It seems a person/people from another country
are frequently coming in and out of the castle.

Foreshadowing. : )

*If you enter the castle before talking to the guy from Guardiana, three guards blocks the way.*

Left guard :
What? Guardiana was
attacked? By Runefaust?
Rubbish! Get out of here!

なに? ガーディアナがおそわれた?
そんなはなしは きいていないぞ
ムム‥ あやしいヤツめ!
かえれ! かえれ!

What? Guardiana was attacked?
I haven't heard that kind of thing (talk).
Mmhh.. You suspicious guy!
Get out! Get out! (Go back?)


Middle guard :
You heard him--beat it!

王様にあわせろだと?
すじょうのしれぬヤツを
城にいれるわけにはいかぬ!
たちさるがよい!

About meeting the king-sama?
People of unknown lineage
are not allowed in the castle, meaning you won't enter!
Leaving would be best! (You should leave?)


Rigth guard :
Our king is entertaining an
important guest. Who do you
think you are to barge in?

王様は だいじなおきゃくさまと
お会いになっているところだ
おまえなどに 会うひまはないぞ!

The king-sama is currently being meeting
an important guest-sama.
There is no time to meet those of your kind!

Way to make us feel good, guys!

Left sign on the shop wall :
Chop and Bop Shop

「武器のみせ」

"Weapon shop"

Rigth sign on the shop wall :
Goode Eats

「アルタローン酒場」

"Altaron bar"
Hmmm

Blue woman at the shop :
I can't find a thing I want
to buy.

もっと おねだんのたかいものは
うってないのかしら?
きんか100000まいの
きのつえ とかね

I wonder if they couln't sell more
expensive high priced things?
Like a 100 000 gold coins
wood staff/cane.

If I recall correctly, to show that something is really expensive in Japan,
they use the number 100 000 while we will use instead a million.
That being said, would you pay 100 000 for a wood staff? : P


Green woman at the shop :
I hate this place! All they
have is cheap stuff. I can't
stand it.

あたし このおみせキライ! だって
やすものしか うってないんだもん

I dislike this shop. The reason is
they aren't selling anything but cheap stuff.


Weapons seller:
You need weapons, and I've
got the best in town. Step
right up!

武器は戦う者のほこり…
うちは武器屋だ いいしなばかり
そろえてるぜ!

Weapons are a fighter's pride...
Inside/this house? weapon shop, there are nothing but good articles
being present(?) here.

More or less this.

Old woman in the shop :
This place is pretty busy
today.

見ておくれ この金のいればを
ピカリ! どうじゃ まぶしいじゃろ

Come look how glittering this gold
tooth is! How radiant it is.


Merchant in the shop :
This is a great business.
Everyone in town comes here
at least once a day.

この国は しょうばいしやすいぜ
たかい酒ほど うれるんだから

In this country, bussiness is easy to do.
Because of this, expensive wines are being sold.


Guy standing in front of the statue in the shop :
You must be Max,
right?

あんた マックスさんだろ?

You must be Max-san?

If you say no :
Strange...I was so sure....

あれー? おかしいなあ
人ちがいなのか…

Ah? It's strange.
I would have mistook you for someone else...


If you say yes :
I knew it! I lived in
Guardiana until a few months
ago. I just heard a rumor.
A friend of mine told me that
Guardiana was totally wiped
out. Is that true?

やっぱり! おれ すこしまえまで
ガーディアナ城で したばたらきを
してたんだぜ! ところで…
さっき なかまにきいたんだが
ガーディアナが ルーンファウストに
やられたというのは ほんとうか?

I knew it! Until a little while before,
I was being a servant at
Guardiana's castle. By the way...
Some time ago, what I have heard from a companion,
that Guardiana was said to be attacked (?)
by Runefaust, is it true?


If you say no :
Good...but my friend has
already left to inform the
castle!

なんだ うそだったのか…
あいつ あわてて そのことを
お城に しらせに 行っちまったぜ

That was false...
That guy hurriedly went to notify
that thing at the castle.


If you say yes :
I hoped it wasn't true. The
friend who told me about it
went to inform the castle.

…そうか ほんとうだったのか
…え? しらせてくれたヤツなら
そのことを お城にしらせに行ったぜ

... really, it was true?
...eh? If it's about that guy who went to notify,
he went to notify that thing at the castle.


Old man to the rigth of the shop :
No one worries about anything
nowadays. It seems pretty odd
to me.

この国も むかしはまずしかった
だが うらのやまで めずらしい
こうせきが見つかっての
それからは 金がはいりほうだいよ
みんな ゆたかになったのはいいが
どうも すなおによろこべん

This country back then was poor.
But inside the mountain, rare
minerals/ore were being (?) discovered.
Because of this, money came as much as you would like to.
It's good that everyone became rich but
they are pleased (?) very simply. (?)

About the third line, it's written in a present tense
but I'm not sure if it talks about present or past time.
Beside the time question, it's more or less the same.
Because of mining, this place is wealthy.
I'm not sure about the last line meaning.
I'm not sure what to make of the verb ending. ^^;;;


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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby BigNailCow » Fri Jun 05 2009 4:54pm

I'm getting more and more interested about seeing retranslated text in the game, perhaps even with a rebalancing of the game as well. Fully revamped Shining Force 1, anyone?

Of course, no offense to Mew seeker, but his translated lines will need to be cleaned up to sound more like natural English.

And some of the US version lines are actually better to me, like the guy at the beginning of your last post who says "Hey, don't make me glare at you!"
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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Flygon » Sat Jun 06 2009 12:40am

BigNailCow @ Fri Jun 05, 2009 4:54 pm) wrote: I'm getting more and more interested about seeing retranslated text in the game, perhaps even with a rebalancing of the game as well. Fully revamped Shining Force 1, anyone?

Aka, what Shining Example WAS, until I got some extra ideas. ;)

No, it isn't bad you broke the background image Mew Seeker, it just means the forum software never anticipated such walls of text. :)
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Flygon: Oh, now look what you did
Destructiox: ;_;
Flygon: Wiz actually got in the chopper
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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Mew seeker » Sat Jun 06 2009 1:31am

>>>>>A language with an actual alphabet

To be fair, Japanese have actual alphabets : katakana and hiragana.
They also use kanjis, the chinese characters, which are much more numerous.
However, while there are a lot to learn, when you know them,
they make the understanding much more easier.
Good luck finding the exact meaning for "shin"
if it's not in kanji and that the context don't help you either.

>>>>> I don't even want to know what kind of time
>>>>> it takes to properly translate something from Japanese.

Well it would be a lot shorter if I was fluent with Japanese. : P
The main problem is not that structure-wise, Japanese would be harder.
Instead, it come from the difference in the sentences structures.
Among the few important details, what's at the left (or beginning)
describe what's at the right (the end)
and the important stuff (the verb) is at the end of the sentence.
And the part that say if it's past, negative or whatever is also at the end of that verb.
So, when someone translate oral Japanese in English,
they may have to buy some time doing a live translation. : P
Anyway, beside the structure, Japanese rely on context a bit.

>>>>>>Of course, no offense to Mew seeker, but his translated lines
>>>>>> will need to be cleaned up to sound more like natural English.

Why you...!
Just kidding. ^^
My translation among a few thing miss the subtleties conveyed
by thing like politness level and Japanase particles like yo, ne, zo, ze, na and so on.
It would be really nice to find a second translator. X D

>>>>>And some of the US version lines are actually better to me,

You spoony bard! : P

Anyway here is a bit more.

Castle of Alterone

3 guards at the entrance :
The king has given orders
that you may enter. Highly
unusual, but go on in.

フーム‥王様のおゆるしが出ている
やむをえぬ! はいるがよい!

Phm.. The king-sama's permission is coming out.
You don't get to stop! (?) It would be good that you enter!

I'm not too sure about the second sentence.
Even if we get to enter, the guards don't like us much more.


Woman in orange dress near the castle entrance :
Khris, where are you? Have
you seen her?

チップ! どこに行ったの!
あたしが大ケガをしたというのに
あの子は どこへ?
…あなた ごぞんじ

Chip! Where Chip went!
Since (?) I had (?) a big injury
where is that child?
... do you know (Chip)?

The second sentence should be more or less this.
"Khris" seem to be a replacement for "Chip".
Oh and we now know why she was looking for Chip.
More foreshadowing! : P


If you say no :
Well, don't just stand there,
help me look for her.

ふん どいつもこいつも
まったく やくたたずばかり!

Phmm that (those?) guy here too
is completely useless!


If you say yes :
Well, then where is she?

ならば よんでおくれ!
あしをくじいてしまったの
ああ いたい!

In that case, go call (Chip) !
I was sprained.
Ah, it hurts!


Woman in green dress near the castle entrance :
Do you know the King's secret?

王様のひみつって しってる?

Do you know the king-sama's secret?

If you say no :
Oh! you don't. He! He!
It may be nothing to you.
Please forget it.

あらそう…
ふふ なんでもないの わすれてね

Oh really...
Fufu, it's nothing, forget it.


If you say yes :
He seems to like treasure.
It is rumored he has hidden
treasure here and there.

宝ものが だいすきらしいのよ
いろんなところに
宝をかくしてるって ひょうばんよ!

It seem he likes treasures a lot.
He is famous about
hiding treasures in many places.


Woman in green before the king's room :
Be very careful when you meet
the king. That's all I dare
say.

・・・・・
…王様にお会いになるときは
じゅうぶんに 気をつけてください
ごめんなさい いまはこれしか
いえないんです…

.....
...when it'll be the time to meet the king-sama,
please be sufficiently careful.
Forgive me, I won't say anything more
than this right now.

That person is more scared to talk or at least reserved in the Japanese version.

Guard looking at water :
Watching water relaxes me.
...What? Guard the castle?
Huh? It's not my business!

おれ 水を見てるとおちつくんだ
…え? 城のけいび?
ふん そんなの しったことかよ!

Whem I come looking at the water, I calm down.
... eh? Guarding the castle?
Phmm, is that some kind of reprimand!


Guard to the rigth of the table :
Sleep, eat and play games.
This is the life for me.

ここの城は てんごくさ!
ひるまから 酒をのんで
あそんでいても いいんだからな

This castle here is a paradise!
Because from daytime drinking wine
doing nothing is good.

Hmm...

Other guard next to the table :
C'mon, sit down and take it
easy. We do it all day.

ういー ヨッパラっちまったよ!
ニイちゃんも いっぱいやりなよ!

Unhappy (???) got drunk!
Like old brother-chan get full!

I'm not sure about the beginning.
And since he talks like a drunk person,
it makes the text harder to understand for me. X D


Guard next to the bar counter :
Maybe I should toss out this
armor. It's too itchy.

ふー りっぱなヨロイはいいけど
おもたくて かなわないよ

Fuh. A splendid armor is good but
it's weight is unbearable.

It's not a good sign when a guard is not able to wear it's own armor.

Bar owner:
Relax. Take a seat and
shovel down some food.

ここの国のへいたいさんは
大酒のみばかりさ
もうかりすぎて こまっちゃうよ!

The soldier-san of this country here
are nothing but heavy drinkers.
I'm worried about making too much profits!

Yes, the last sentence sounds like that to me.
Maybe he is worried about them? : P


Note in the bar :
No spitting, No fighting.
No throwing food!

「酒ののみすぎにちゅうい!
水のなかにおちる者 ぞくしゅつ!」

"Be careful about overdrinking wine!
People falling into the water come in one after the other!"

X D
You do remember that there is water in the castle, rigth? X D


Guard blocking a door :
No one enters. We have
important guests.

このなかには だれもはいれません
だいじな おきゃく様が
いらしているのです

No one can enter inside here.
Important guests-sama
are being (?) there.

I have not found the exact word in a dictionary
but I think that's what said here.
The politness level is higher than normal toward the end.


Guard in the basement :
Who are you?

な なんだ きさまは!

Wh, what you!

*Some Rune knights that were around run away *

There's nothing here to see.
Go away!

なんだと? 敵が?
おまえ ゆめでも見てるのか?
…ほら 見てみろよ

What? (?) Enemy?
Were you looking while dreaming?
...Look, let's try to see.


*The guard look up.*

Enemies? What enemies??

やっぱり だれもいない!

As I thought, there is no one at all!
The "enemies" part was sooner in the original.

*He then turn back toward us.*

Get back upstairs!

もう ようじはないだろ
さあ かえってくれよ!

If you don't have more things to do,
well leave this place!


Left knight in the king's room :
What! Runefaust attacked
Guardiana? Talk to our king.
I'm sure he can help!

なんと! ルーンファウストが
ガーディアナを ほろぼした!?
我が 国王に おはなしくだされ!
きっと 力になってくれよう!

What! Runefaust
have destroyed Guardiana!?
Please give this information (talk) to our king!
Undoubtly he shall lend his strenght!


Right knight in the king's room :
Our king is a believer in
helping those in need.

我が国王は りっぱな お方だ
こまっていることがあれば
なんでも そうだんしてみるがいい

Our king is a great person.
Would there be something that worry you,
by all means it would be a good idea to try to talk with him.


Minister:
I've heard all about you.
Talk to our king.

ガーディアナに いたという者から
そなたのはなしは しかときいたぞ
王様におはなしするがよい

I have heard your talk (or about you?) perfectly
from the person that was said to be in Guardiana. (?)
It would be good that you talk to the king-sama.

That part gave me trouble, then the pieces fell together into this.
The guy mentioned here must be the friend of the guy in the shop
from Guardiana.


King Alterone:
What? Runefaust attacked
Guardiana? Hard to believe.
Follow me, Max.
I have a...tactician we
should consult with on this
matter.

なに? ふういんのカギをもとめ
ルーンファウスト軍が
ガーディアナをおそった!?
そのご ルーンファウスト軍は
我が国にむかったというのだな
ウーム‥それは だいじけんだ!
ぐんしをまじえて けんとうせねば
私のあとを ついてまいるのじゃ

What? You're seeking the seal key.
The Runefaust army
have attacked Guardiana!?
Afterward, the Runefaust army
is said to be going toward my country.
Humm.. That is an important matter!
Come to follow after me so that
I discuss objectives/planification with (my) strategist/tactician.


And now, the much more interesting part of the castle
... in my next post!
:mwahaha:

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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Flygon » Sat Jun 06 2009 1:59am

Kind of disappointing they removed the 'Get drunk, fall in water' gag. I'm surprised they removed some of these. :(
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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Earl » Sat Jun 06 2009 3:45am

It's good that everyone became rich but
they are pleased (?) very simply. (?)

The implication I get here is that they ought to want more than riches or that they put too much stock in being rich. Either that, or they're spending their wealth stupidly (the rampant drinking and complaining about 100 000 gold wooden sticks give this some weight).
Knowing is only half the battle.
So you still lose.
Knowing is only half the battle.
So you still lose.
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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Mew seeker » Sun Jun 07 2009 2:04am

A small note before I continue about something I forgot to mention.
Usually, when the word king was used, it was used with -sama 王様
which denote respect.
(Apparently, the word can also be used for other things that royalty
like the king of cooking.)
Then another word for king was used in the last post for king, "koku ou" 国王
which mean "the king of a country/nation".
I'm not sure how important the difference is but I wanted to point it.

Anyway, let's continue. We're at the point where the king leave
after we have talked to him.


*The king leave*

Guard who used to block a door :
The king is waiting for you.

王様は したのへやで おまちです
さあ はやく!

The king-sama is waiting in the room below.
Well quickly!


Rune knights in the basement :
I have nothing to say to you,
Max of Guardiana.

・・・・・

.....
...

King Alterone:
I'm sorry about this, but I
must protect Alterone.

悪くおもわんでくれ…
これも アルタローン国のためだ

I feel bad...
This is for the well being of the country of Altaron.


Kane:
Surprised, Max?
Alterone has already
surrendered!
Put him in a prison cell!
I'll decide how to best
dispose of him in a day
or two.

また会ったな こぞう!
ワハハハハ…
王のいうぐんしとは 私のことだよ
ルーンファウストのカインだ
バカめ やっと気づいたようだな!
この国の王は あたまがいい
さからっても かちめがないと
すでに 我らに こうふくしたのだ
そこに のこのこ やってくるとはな
…ろうで まっているんだな
さきに のこりをしまつしてやる!

We met again kid!
Wahahahaha...
The king said strategist/tactician is me (or my thing?),
Runefaust's Kain.
I have at last became aware (worried?) of you idiot(s?)!
This country's king have a good head/is smart.
Not having a chance of going against/defying us,
he already surrendered to us.
I/we can go there unconcernedly.
... you'll be waiting in prison.
I'll take care of the remnants later!

Kain doesn't call us Max. He might even not know our name.
But we did enough so that he start to take us in account.
Remnant here mean the small remaining numbers of a force/group/army.
Basycally, we are the small little remainer of what was not took care of in Guardiana.
Here, the word for king is the plainest one.
No extra politness if there is any.
Lot of the text was cut, including Kain's laugh!


*The Rune Knigths surrounds Max.*

King Alterone:
Kane, you promised that
Alterone would not be
involved in any of this!

カイン殿 やくそくとちがいますぞ
それだは国が 戦いにまきこまれる!

Kain-dono, this is different of our arrangement/promise.
That was, the country would not be involved in battle!

That was most likely the reason the king did this.

Kane:
Quiet, fool! Or I'll
throw you in the cell with him!
Take him away.

うるさい! しったことか!
さあ この者をつれていけ!
あとで こいつにききたいことがある
…神々のいさんについて
なにか しっているかもしれん!

Silence! Is it a scolding!
Well, take this person away!
Later, there is a thing I would like to hear from this guy.
...about the legacy of the gods,
he might be knowing something!

Scolding reprimand, something like this.
It also have the implication of raising your voice.
Kain felt a bit of opposition from the king and he didn't like it.
He doesn't threaten the king as much.
Yet again, the threat is more implicit.
Kain's intent to interrogate us was cut as well.


*The Rune Knights bring you in the prison cell.*

Priest :
I came to tell the king to
fight, but Kane had already
convinced him to surrender.
Even thought I am in prison, I
can still perfom my duties.
How can I help you?

私は ルーンファウスト軍など
しんようできない…ということを
王様に もうし上げていたところ
あの にっくきカインめに見つかり
ここに いれられてしまったのです
ろうにいるとはいえ 私も神父です
できることなら 力になりますぞ

I do not trust the Runefaust army
and so on... When I told
the king-sama said thing,
that hate-ful Kain guy found out.
I was being put in here.
Even if the house I am in is a jail, I am still a father.
If it's possible, I will lend my strenght.


When you search the cell's door :
(The bars are solid. There's
no way to break them.)
...Footsteps approach!

「しっかりしたつくりだ
とても こわせそうにない…」
…だれかの あしおとが
きこえてきた!

"It's a strong construction.
It's very not likely that you would be able to break it..."
... you have heard
someone's footsteps!



*A woman in green appear.*
The time has come to strike
back at Runefaust! I'm letting
you out.

私 王様とあの人たちの
はなしを きいてしまって…
でも こわくて だまっていたの
ごめんなさい あなたのような人が
こんなことを されるなんて…
いま あけてあげますから

I was with the king-sama when I have heard
those people words...
But I stayed silent out of fear.
Forgive me for having let people of your kind
going through this thing...
Because (?) now I will open (the door).

It might be also "from here". I'm not exactly sure. ^^;
Here, the text is not as confident.
That person feel bad for not having acted before.


*She open the door.*

When you talk to her again :
Please help me save Alterone!
I'll fight alongside you. I
can heal too!

おねがいです この国をたすけて
ルーンファウストのへいたちが
町であばれはじめたんです
私も いっしょに戦います
どうか 力をかしてください!

Please. Help this country,
the Runefaust soldiers
have started rampaging in the town.
I too will fight together (with you).
Please somehow lend me your strenght!

Things go sour in town.
No mention of healing.


(Khris joins the
Shining Force!)

「チップが なかまになった!」

"Chip became a companion!"
As you might have expected, this person is Chip.
And while I think about it, in the not much loved Shining Force Neo,
there is a dog priestess as well with the name Chiqitita...
Or something like that


We can't go this way, they'll
spot us for sure.

こちらから そとに出ては
見つかってしまいます

If we go outside from here,
we'll be discovered.


*Both of you go back in the cells and the door is closed back.*

There's a secret passage. Use
it to escape.

たしか ここに町へのぬけ道が…
ありました!

If I am right, there was a secret passage to town...
here!

Actually, it end with "...there was!" but it just don't work that well in English.

*Stairs appear.*

Khris:
I'll be at headquarters.
Please be patient a little longer. I'll get you
out of here soon.

私は 町の ほんじんで
たいきしています
神父様!
しばらく ごしんぼうください
あとで かならずたすけにまいります

I'll be on standby
in the town headquarter.
Father-sama!
Please be patient for a little while.
I will come later to help you without fail.


*She leaves.*

*When you leave headquarters, Runefaust force are there outside.*

Kane:
Lowly worms, I shall crush
you beneath my heel. Attack,
soldiers of Runefaust!

ガーディアナのざんとうめ
我が軍に いどむとはいいどきょうだ
この カインが
かえりうちに してくれる!

Those Guardiana remnant guys,
to challenge my army/force take a lot of courage/guts.
This Kain
will take care of this counter attack! (!)

On one hand, Kain don't have much respect for us
but on the other hand he have to give us credit.
About "counter attack", the japanese word is "kaeriuchi",
"coming back to attack".
If I have understood properly the Japanese dictionary I use,
it mean that situation where "when intending to attack an enemy,
you are instead being attacked by the enemy."
Maybe Kain didn't see that coming but in any case, he intend to finish things.


A Rune Knigth appear and say to Kane :
Lord Kane, Lord Darksol
commands you to return to
Runefaust immediately.

カイン様…
ダークソル様よりの でんれいです
「神々のいさんについて
あらたなてがかりが 見つかった
ただちにもどられよ」とのことです!

Kain-sama...
It's a messenger from Dark Sol-sama
It says : "A new clue/trail about
the legacy of the gods was discovered.
Come back at once!"

First mention of Dark Sol and more on his message.

Kane answer :
Tell him I'm on my way.

なに? わかったとつたえろ!

What? Tell him "Understood"!

Rune knight:
Yes, sir.

ハッ! かしこまりました

Hah! Certainly.

*The Rune Knigth leaves.*

Kane:
A shame I can't stay to watch
you meet your doom! My troops
can handle the likes of you.

ざんねんだが きいたとおりだ
しかし 我が軍のせいえいたちが
じっくり おあいてさせてもらう
しぬがよい! フハハハハ…!

It's regrettable but it's as it was heard.
But my force's elites
will carefully (and slowly!) be your opponents.
Die! Fwahahaha...!

Whoever Dark Sol is, Kain take orders from him.
Those are elites? : P
The last line is litterally "(That you) die is good!"
Kain's laugh was once again cut.


*Kane leaves*

*When you win the battle*

Nova:
Max, there's no time
to lose. Kane must be found
and stopped at all costs.
Find out all you can and
be sure to talk to the king
of Alterone!

マックス殿! 敵はすべて
うちたおしましたぞ
さあ カインをおうのです!
まずは 王のもとへまいりましょう

Max-dono! The enemy was completely
defeated.
Well, let's go after Kain!
First, let's go to where the king was.

Nova use the same expression than before
about the opponent being defeated.


**********************************************************

That's it for today.
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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Flygon » Sun Jun 07 2009 2:12am

Is it me, or did Nova actually improve with Sega's version of the translation. :eyebrow:
The hexman of #sf2hack
#sf2hack @ irc.darkmyst.org wrote:Lord_Oddeye: GET TO THE CHOPPER
Destructiox: :D
* Wiz has quit (Exit: Quitte)
Flygon: Oh, now look what you did
Destructiox: ;_;
Flygon: Wiz actually got in the chopper
The hexman of #sf2hack
#sf2hack @ irc.darkmyst.org wrote:Lord_Oddeye: GET TO THE CHOPPER
Destructiox: :D
* Wiz has quit (Exit: Quitte)
Flygon: Oh, now look what you did
Destructiox: ;_;
Flygon: Wiz actually got in the chopper
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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Mew seeker » Sun Jun 07 2009 2:20am

Is it me, or did Nova actually improve with Sega's version of the translation.


lol, maybe, at least for this kind of text?
But I think he's more constant/say things the same way in the Japanese version
when opponent are defeated.
Maybe that text was stored in the game and used several time to save room?
On the other hand, when asking for advice, you want Japanese Nova! lol
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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Flygon » Sun Jun 07 2009 2:32am

I don't think it is reading all from the same position to save room, I'm going by the English edition here but many things are duplicated, the 'when you search a mechanical device text' is a great example.
The hexman of #sf2hack
#sf2hack @ irc.darkmyst.org wrote:Lord_Oddeye: GET TO THE CHOPPER
Destructiox: :D
* Wiz has quit (Exit: Quitte)
Flygon: Oh, now look what you did
Destructiox: ;_;
Flygon: Wiz actually got in the chopper
The hexman of #sf2hack
#sf2hack @ irc.darkmyst.org wrote:Lord_Oddeye: GET TO THE CHOPPER
Destructiox: :D
* Wiz has quit (Exit: Quitte)
Flygon: Oh, now look what you did
Destructiox: ;_;
Flygon: Wiz actually got in the chopper
Flygon

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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Rick » Sun Jun 07 2009 10:23am

Most very awesome!

I'm really enjoying this, I've played Sf1 loads of times, its great to see how 'generic' the US version is
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SF Community Project. Come have a looksie

Chaos Wizard wrote:I prefer beauty more then Virginal. But no skanks. :angry:

masquirinsears wrote:wow that rick, he's so hot right now, rick...

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Re: Shining Force translation topic

Postby Martin III » Mon Jun 08 2009 11:08pm

Awesome. I think Khris feels just a bit more fully realized as a character in the Japanese version. And it's great to see Darksol actually having a reason for calling Kane out of nowhere!
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