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An Update on my Dad

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An Update on my Dad

Postby Chaos Wizard » Wed Sep 28 2016 2:13pm

I've been getting a good bit of support and concern from some of you guy about my dad, his condition and so forth and so on, so I've elected to go ahead and put it all down on the table for everybody, and I'll update this every once in a while should anyone want me to continue giving updates.

He's a fighter for sure.

Apparently he was laid out initially with a flu, and then after a week it was pneumonia, and after a month it was non-small cell stage IV lung cancer.

He was unbelievably working 16 hour days with his cloud service business he owns and operates, and staying highly active despite having unbeknownst to us all, a collapsed left lung with several liters of excess fluid contained with in. (A total of 6 liters of fluid was removed over the course of a few days and a catheter had to be put in to continue to drain the lung until it could heal form the damage wrought by the pneumonia.)

Monday he had his PET scan, and yesterday he got the verdict as with Stage IV the cancer has entered into metastasis, meaning it's spread.
The cancer is adenocarcinoma, which is the most common form of lung cancer, and though not necessarily a super aggressive or treatment resistant tumor type. It's resistant to radiation therapy, and advances to metastasis quickly and largely before it has been diagnosed or even before it reveals itself symptom wise.

Apparently 40% of all people diagnosed with lung cancer are diagnosed at Stage IV with a 1% chance of survival, and a meager 18% chance should they be fortunate enough to catch it earlier on.
Needless to say, f*ck lung cancer.

I should also mention this is not new to my family, and the fear of lung cancer is pretty serious stuff. My grandfather died of lung cancer in 1974, and my Uncle Jim in 2004. The latter under the same kind of situation as my dad. First pneumonia then advanced lung cancer.
The weight of this knowledge is more than anyone wants to think about, and also brings with it the possibility that either myself, my siblings, or even my children might also be afflicted by this apparent genetic disposition.

What tremendously good news we received is that it is not peripheral as is the norm in adenocarcinoma, as it is commonly associated with smokers, particularly ones who smoke filtered cigarettes.
My father smoked a pipe when he was younger, but has been a non-smoker for 16+ years now.
It seems that it is centralized to the left lung with one large mass and several small masses spreading into the lymphatic system.

This of course does not mean it's curable, or that the odds are stacked in our favor, but it does mean that he's got a chance and that he can fight it.
My fear was that it had spread to other organs or to his bones, so I am immensely relieved that it's not the case.
When I heard this news it was something like exhaling for the first time in two weeks.

I'm still very worried, and there is a long way to go and more unknowns than questions answered as far as how things will turn out in the end, but at least this means I've got my dad for a bit longer at the very least, and that he's got a sluggers chance of being among the (almost) 10% of lung cancer patients with a 5 year survival rate.

There have been more patents and breakthroughs in the last year in cancer treatment than in the last 40 years combined, and that is also hopeful.
Though I'm still a little irritable I'm doing my damnedest to remain positive for my family, for myself and obviously for my dad.

Thanks to everybody who has expressed concern either here or on other mediums my way.
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby Cyric » Wed Sep 28 2016 3:07pm

This news, while not great, is still pretty darn spiffy. I'm definitely praying for you, your dad, and your family.

Now to a more important topic - You.

There are others here who can speak more plainly that I ever could but take it from me, it's never too early to start thinking about what your health will be years down the road. I started a new job this past February and they stress preventative care, to the point they discount the insurance cost if I do certain things (annual physical, maintain a physical activity log, etc.). This marks the first time I've been exposed to this and as a result I've had to face things in my family history that may negatively impact the quality of life.

Believe me - being broke as hell sucks and I'm aware these things cost money - but given the family history, I'm assuming you have (or will be) talking to a doctor about your chances of contracting this plague as well as what steps can be done to catch it early.

Your family needs you around as long as possible.
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby MXC » Wed Sep 28 2016 3:28pm

It saddens me to hear the negative news here but I'm happy that he's still hanging in there and has a legitimate shot at pulling through. Make sure your dad is as comfortable as possible and resolves any outstanding issues he may have. Plan for the worst and hope for the best but definitely get your time in with him just in case.

The only other piece of health advice I have is to get educated on everything he has been diagnosed with. If the doctors say something that doesn't match up with your findings, question them until they give a real answer. I'm not sure it'll apply in this situation but it did for me and I saved myself a bit of trouble by actually questioning what was going on.

You and your family will be in the thoughts and prayers of everyone here. If you need me for anything, don't hesitate to ask.
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby Stordarth » Thu Sep 29 2016 1:44am

Cancer is a real bitch. Most of my great uncles died of lung cancer, so I can relate to the worry of it running in your family. I suppose if nothing else, this horrible situation has made you more acutely aware of your own health, which is at least one small plus.

Do you think they'll operate to remove the main tumor, or does the fact that it has metastasised mean that they won't?

Hope you're bearing up, dude. If you need to talk or vent, hit me up.
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby Century » Thu Sep 29 2016 9:17am

I think any positive news should be welcomed. I can't imagine what you and your family are going through but it's good to know that your dad will be around for longer than you thought. I can't offer any advice beyond what the others here - some of whom have gone through similar - have already said, but again if you need an ear, I'm always here, man. You're all in my thoughts.
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby thepeaguy » Sun Oct 02 2016 9:09pm

I found out my mum has womb cancer this week. I still can't get my mind around it.

Yep.

I know I'm not a regular like Chaos is, and I'm not too bothered by the lack of support here. However, I can relate to what Chaos is going through when your parent is dealing with the big C.
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby Chaos Wizard » Sun Oct 02 2016 9:26pm

I'm sorry to hear that man. I sincerely hope that everything is looking as positive as it can be under the circumstances for you and your family.

One of the things that's helped me quite a bit is keeping a journal, and allowing myself to unload every once in a while. Holding everything in is not a good thing at all.
The most important thing for you and your family is to remain positive, and supportive. I know it's not easy to push yourself to be sunshine and rainbows when you hear something like a family member has cancer, but it matters.
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby thepeaguy » Sun Oct 02 2016 9:58pm

Chaos Wizard wrote:I'm sorry to hear that man. I sincerely hope that everything is looking as positive as it can be under the circumstances for you and your family.

One of the things that's helped me quite a bit is keeping a journal, and allowing myself to unload every once in a while. Holding everything in is not a good thing at all.
The most important thing for you and your family is to remain positive, and supportive. I know it's not easy to push yourself to be sunshine and rainbows when you hear something like a family member has cancer, but it matters.


The prognosis looks good. She is scheduled for surgical removal of her entire reproductive system in two weeks' time: a hysterectomy. I feel really gutted for her because, as a child, she had to deal with her mother's womb cancer in the late 1950s. She barely survived with the outmoded treatment from back then. My nan ultimately died from a stomach anneurysm when she was in in her early 80s in 2007. I was the one who contacted the local NHS to request an ambulance.

I'll try to remain positive; however, it's early days for me, and it's going to probably take me a few more days to find a coping mechanism to deal with the situation at hand.

All the best to you and your family.
Last edited by thepeaguy on Mon Oct 03 2016 10:59pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby Chaos Wizard » Sun Oct 02 2016 10:33pm

I'm glad to hear things look hopeful but indeed the entire concept of cancer, and especially one that comes with the weight of family history is a lot to bear.
My dad has already lost both his father and his brother both to lung cancer so I know that weighed a lot on his mind, however he seemed to somehow be more at peace with the revelation than the rest of us. At least more stoic.

All the best.
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby Stordarth » Sun Oct 02 2016 10:49pm

We may have had our disagreements in the past, peaguy, but petty differences pale in the face of something like this. I'm genuinely sorry to hear it, and I hope she is able to recover. I also hope you find a way to handle it, and if venting your worries here helps, have at it.
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby Century » Mon Oct 03 2016 8:17am

Sorry to hear that peaguy =( I'm glad the prognosis is good, though, but do make sure you're okay, too.
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby Ghostly Jenn » Mon Oct 03 2016 8:29am

In all honesty I can't really relate too much, but I'm always on pins and needles. My mom underwent a hysterectomy due to a completely separate issue, however they found cancerous cells. They were going to take the problematic ovary but it was too far up for them to remove at the time and now she's just on monitor. So far it's been about six years and nothing has come up, then again she didn't tell anyone the last time when she was diagnosed with carrying the cells (caught really early due to the separate medical issue).

So I never had that, "Will she make it or not?" scared feeling because it never progressed that far, but I was there thru her entire surgery.

Sorry I cut myself off. I was going to send well wishes your way as well. I can't imagine what you guys are going thru because that was a long ass day for me, let alone the days, weeks, months that you guys are experiencing.

Another edit. Since what happened to my own mother i had forgotten that awful feeling. I cant give much advice for combatting it long-term. I hope everything goes as well as it did for my mother and that you guys get thru this ordeal. Phill has a great idea for keeping a journal and i hope you find something equally as helpful for you Peaguy. I just played video games and read comic books for my short duration, but everyone has their own thing.
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby thepeaguy » Mon Oct 03 2016 12:37pm

I'm keeping busy through various activities in my life, but I honestly feel mentally drained by the news.

I hope to pick myself up in the next few days!
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby Cyric » Mon Oct 03 2016 3:55pm

You and yours shall be added to my list for which prayers are made.
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby thepeaguy » Mon Oct 03 2016 4:52pm

A young haematologist was the one who informed my mother of her cancer. He could've lost his job for going against hospital protocol. He basically gave her an opportunity to survive cancer, I think. I wish I knew who he was because I'm grateful for that.

With situations like these, I don't deal with my emotions very well. My younger sister just lets it all out, whereas I and my father just bottle it up and come off as aggressive. I honestly find it difficult to express my emotions, and that's because I have the same issues Chaos' son has (I've read about him in passing on here, a few months ago).

We may have had our disagreements in the past, peaguy, but petty differences pale in the face of something like this. I'm genuinely sorry to hear it, and I hope she is able to recover. I also hope you find a way to handle it, and if venting your worries here helps, have at it.


End of the day, we're all a bunch of 0s and 1s on the internet. Unless I get to know people properly, I rarely take it personal. I understand that my views can come across as negative, but I'm just being honest with how I think and feel. That said, I wouldn't impose my will on demographics I find unfavourable, having a liberal-minded view of life.

Much appreciated, btw.
Last edited by thepeaguy on Mon Oct 03 2016 5:20pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby the tall guy » Mon Oct 03 2016 5:16pm

Phil, you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. Hoping for the best.
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby Earl » Tue Oct 04 2016 3:59am

I don't know how open you and your dad are with feels... but definitely try to find whatever words you might be sitting on. Ideally, everything goes as well as it can, and your relationship benefits from the clarity and carries on for years to come.
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby Swalchy » Tue Oct 04 2016 8:54pm

:(

Sorry to read about the cancer diagnosis', Phil and TPG. Prayers with you and your families.
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby thepeaguy » Wed Oct 05 2016 1:30am

A Shining Force IV would alleviate some of the woes, but that is wishful thinking.
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Re: An Update on my Dad

Postby Chaos Wizard » Thu Oct 13 2016 12:51pm

I'd be so down with just a new Tactical RPG.
Shining Force IV would be a godsend.

On the up and up, my dad started Chemo and has had minimal side effects and his appetite has been improving.
I know the chances are very slim but I really do believe he's got a chance, even though it's still very early on, I've got to hope, and I know he feels the same way.
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