Shining Fanwork: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

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Noma
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by Noma »

I haven't touched my Oddeye fic at all recently. Been a bit too busy with life, but maybe eventually I'll pick it up again.
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by Martin III »

whiterose wrote:Ah. I recall him. Was he banned or something? It's kinda been ages since I've posted in this thread. :s
I think that like me, Maximus gave up on dealing with the SFC trolls. When I talked to him back in April 2011 (shortly after he left), he said he wasn't coming back to SFC until he learned to control his temper better.

Sorry that I haven't posted here in a while. I've been hard at work on a two-part short story sequel to the PC / 3DO game Hell: A Cyberpunk Thriller... a story which I really must plug here, because I think it's one of the best I've written to date, and no one seems to be reading it! Only one hit for part 2, and that was me confirming it was posted correctly. Anyone else who enjoyed the strange sci-fi experience that is Hell: A Cyberpunk Thriller should definitely check this story out as (if I do say so myself :) ) I did a fine job of filling plot holes and resolving unresolved threads. I call it "Night of the Resurrection".

Rest assured I haven't abandoned the Shining fan fic. In fact, as I type this I've already pushed out a good chuck of a new Shining Force CD short which shows Eric, Luke, and Jaha paying a visit to Deanna and Natasha 10 years after the events of the game. Initially I planned this as a simple "where are they now" tale, and to an extent that's still what it is, but thanks to the prophecy subplot in my more recent fics, it's now also a sort of waypoint on the road to the cataclysmic events due to take place about 20 years after SF CD. I hope to have it done by New Year's Day.

Here's where I need you guys' input: Obviously, this story is going to involve a lot of "catching up" on people and events, and given how many characters have been involved in my SF CD fics, I'm bound to forget something. :sweatdrop: So if anyone has a character whose recent developments they want to hear about, please let me know!
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by ehow22 »

SF Fanfics? Been looking to read some for awhile now.
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by Noma »

ehow22 wrote:SF Fanfics? Been looking to read some for awhile now.
Someday I'll finish my Oddeye fic. Hopefully someday soon. I have had the urge to write lately and actually rewrote a bit of the story outline just a few days ago to tweak some things.

Chapter 4 has been near completion for a long time, but I just never got around to writing the last few pages. Im afraid that once I finish the chapter, I'll never finish the rest of the story. I'm sort of weird like that.
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by whiterose »

ehow22 wrote:SF Fanfics? Been looking to read some for awhile now.
I'm still working on my story, but as always, it's coming along at a snail's pace. :( I don't really want to show any of it unless I feel like it's got any solid direction, and I know how I wish to end it. :s Unfortunately, motivation has not been very high with anything creative on my end for most of the last year, but I've worked on it when it has been. It will get done, I just cannot promise when. :( I hope the likes of Martin and DW are still interested by this point. >.>

Speaking of DW, I wonder where he's been. No Granserian Way updates gives me many sads. :(
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by Martin III »

Yeah, me too. I dropped him a nudging PM through FanFiction dot net a couple days ago, but haven't heard back.

A warning for anyone perusing FF dot net: There's a plagiarist in the Shining Force section. "Shining Force Resurrection of the Dark Dragon" by ShiningForceGirl998 is a word-for-word copy of the BlakRoz's fic of the same name; only the protagonist's name and gender are changed. I've sent the BlakRoz a PM about this, but her FF dot net account seems to be inactive, and the site has removed all channels for reporting plagiarism (not that they ever did anything about abuse reports anyway). If anyone has a better idea than me as to how to get plagiarism taken down, I'll be happy to help with whatever it is.

On the good news front, I've finished a new short story, called "Ten Years Later". As the title may suggest, it's a snapshot look at the cast of Shining Force: The Sword of Hajya/Shining Force CD Book 2 ten years after the events of the game, as five of its heroes briefly reunite. It also features the long-awaited backstory of the nameless and unseen agent of Hindel who helped guide the party. Yeah, I probably kept that one a mystery so long that no one cares about it anymore, but I'm taking the gamble that late is better than never. The character needed some plain definition if I'm to continue using him (and I do intend to do so). Anyway, hope you all enjoy.

Also, a little bonus for you all: "Ten Years Later"'s two deleted scenes. Ordinarily when I delete a scene, it's because it involves out-of-character behavior, a contradiction or inconsistency with canon, a logic hole... in short, it didn't happen. However, these two scenes were only deleted because (1)the story was too long, and (2)they're unnecessary and unimportant. So I see no reason not to try to liven up this thread by posting them here. Obviously, I recommend you don't read these scenes before the published story.

Deleted Scene 1: Details of Deanna and Natasha's Sex Life (Don't worry, nothing explicit here!)
Spoiler
Deanna shook his head. "Details like that are none of your business, Luke."

He couldn't deny that he and Natasha had been rather naive about parenthood. Oddly enough, it wasn't until they had their sixth child that it really occurred to them that the only way they could keep their family to six children was to stop having sexual intercourse. Maybe it was just that when they first started, it had seemed inconceivable that they could even have that many. Still, they were foolish enough to want to stick to the plan, and overwhelmed enough by the five children they already had that they had good reason to think six had to be the limit.

He wasn't sure how long they managed to maintain their abstinence; they were too focused on taking care of the children for sex to even cross their minds for the most part. Even so, it couldn't last. One night after the kids had been put to bed, Natasha was sweeping, and Deanna was clearing away and washing the dishes. Their eyes had met, and the next thing he knew, they were making love. As always, it was physically pleasurable, but it also made them realize that something had been missing in their relationship while they had been abstaining. It was not that they needed sex, but that denying that expression of their love for the reasons they had had hurt them both.

"Deanna... thank you," Natasha had said when they were finished, reaching up to touch his face. "That was... I know it's stupid, but when we stopped doing this, I'd started to feel that you didn't really love me anymore."

"But... but we agreed to that together!" he'd protested.

"I know," she said. "And I could see in your eyes that you felt the same way as me. I felt that if you didn't want any more of my children, that you were willing to stop making love to me, it must be because you don't love me that much..."

"But... we don't want any more children... do we?" His words were timid, but his eyes told her that he would gladly have more if that was what she wanted.

Then she'd smiled at him, and he fell in love with her again. "No, we don't want to have any more children... But every child I have with you is one I want."

He loved how Natasha could understand such things.

He didn't expect Luke to understand any of that, or even to comprehend sex as an act of love rather than just an act of pleasure. Not that it would have been any of his business even if he could.

"Isn't taking care of them all a little much, though?" Luke asked.
Deleted Scene 2: Original Opening to Deanna and Eric's Debate
Spoiler
Deanna cast interrogative looks at Luke and Jaha, but each of them held up their hands in defense, faces protesting ignorance of Eric's mission. He looked back to Eric. "Is that all? Didn't you realize I would refuse?"

"I knew that would be your first instinct, yes. But you are a man of honor and responsibility, and ultimately, to refuse to help where you are needed would be against your nature."

"I'm not needed in the capital. Queen Gillian is already becoming comfortable with ruling Iom... Sir Edwin trained her well. The Warderer loyalists have mostly faded from sight. Even our foreign relations are getting better each year, thanks to Margo." He shrugged. "Iom... doesn't need Natasha and I anymore."
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by Demonic Weasel »

In all honesty, while I haven't given up on "The Granserian Way" by any means, I don't see an end in sight. At least not immediately. I'm actually more hopeful towards it from the past week or so than I have been for a while, but there's no denying that my progress has been half-hearted and halting at best. Still I anticipate that however glacial my pace, I shall arrive at that completion.

The only reason I haven't stopped in here since this most recent flurry of posts is that I've been having a web-browser problem with the site on my antiquated desktop. Still, I'll see if I just throwing myself in the fray might not be a dose of what my writing needs. Who knows? The next update may be much sooner that I'd hoped.

In the meantime, you should all read Martin's new fic. It's quite good.
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by whiterose »

And there he is. xD

I didn't mean to drag you out or put any pressure on ya, but yeah, I'm kind of missing your aforementioned story. Especially when those updates you said you'd posted on ff.net never showed up. :( I feel like we're in somewhat of a similar situation by not coming out with anything new, but at least you've got stories posted. :(

In any case, it's good to hear that you haven't quit on it.
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by Snipes »

Hey all. It's been forever. Awesome to see some of you are still kicking around. In my last couple years of trying to become a professor and working towards becoming a serious writer, I more or less abandoned fanfiction. Not because I think its a worthless exercise, but because time became rather limited for me. That being said, however bad my work was two years or so ago I'm still really grateful for the encouraging, yet helpful critiques I received from Martin and DW on my prose. Thinking about maybe doing a trippy metaphysical story revolving around Zynk when my schedule lightens up this semester. That being said, I'm going to check out your new fic Martin. Expect a review in the near future.
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by Martin III »

Great to hear from you again, Snipes! And you too, Demonic (he said over a month later). Indeed, I would love to get a review from you, and I hope you do get a chance for another Shining fic. I've found it hard to balance professional writing and fan fiction myself.

While I'm here, I might as well announce that after fiercely pondering which on my half dozen Shining fanfic ideas I should pursue next, I'm now well into a Nick-centric short, titled "Our Deepest Fear". The basic plot for this one has been in my head for almost six years now, and I felt I should go for it next since it's my last SF CD tale to take place before the big resolution of Brehen's prophecy. While I'm admittedly not ready to tackle that one on yet - among other issues, I haven't fully worked out the plot - I could find myself ready for it at any day, and when that day comes I don't want to be stuck having to write another fic first. While "Our Deepest Fear" doesn't relate to the prophecy, I still feel it would be a bit out of order to write it second.
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by Demonic Weasel »

I don't actually have any news worth speaking of. While it seems ever less likely that I'll finish the entirety of the Shining Saga I have planned out, I do still have intentions to write at least two more stories in that mix... and yes, for the sake of my long-time readers, one of those is finishing "The Granserian Way."

The bald truth of the matter there is that while I was making some progress, my computer has been indefinitely decommissioned and the more recent chapters I was working on hadn't been backed up properly through a pretty obvious mistake on my part. I can retrieve them, but haven't gotten around to it. I'm hoping to get the other story I have in mind up soon, it's fairly short so I should actually be good for my word for once.

More importantly, this is a bump.
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by Martin III »

Thanks for the bump, DW. Sorry to hear about your recent computer misfortune.

Anyway, the good news is I have published another Shining Force CD short story, "Our Deepest Fear". For those who are concerned, it doesn't follow up on the prophecy subplot, but since the events of the story will ultimately impact the novel which (finally) resolves that subplot, I figured it made more sense to write "Our Deepest Fear" first.

As mentioned in my author's notes, "Our Deepest Fear" was quite a few years in the making, and I feel it's worth sharing some of the changes that happened to the story along the way, if only because they serve as little lessons on mistakes to avoid when writing fiction. Spoilers, including the ending, are present:
Spoiler
The first change I made to the plot was to have Nick grip Mayfair's arm too hard. My original thought, believe it or not, was to have him actually hit her. After some months of ideas percolating, I realized having him do that was simply out-of-character overdramatization, much like my having Nick call Edmond an "old fool" back in my first draft of "The King's Friends". Whoever it was who prompted me to fix that error (I think it was Marine), thanks again!

But by far the biggest change is that originally, the story ended with Nick saying "Father... help me." It was years before I realized that Nick simply would not yield to despair like that. Even if you forget everything that I've added to his characterization, sticking solely to what we see in Shining Force CD, Nick is a guy who rises above loss and adverse circumstances. The nice thing is, by staying true to Nick's character, I got a better ending to boot. My original ending, in retrospect, was weak.

Gyan's appearance wasn't added in until shortly after I set my mind to actually writing the story. It always bothered me a bit that the story involved so few characters, and Gyan was one of the few characters who could naturally fit into the story rather than being forced into it. Besides, I find he always adds an air of... not necessarily comic relief, but lightness of spirit.

The stuff with Lord Petruck was also a late addition, and in fact inexcusably last minute; I didn't add it in until the story was almost fully written! Yep, it took me that long to realize that I needed a practical situation to illustrate Nick's growth. Oh well, better late than never.
For more good news, I commissioned some cover art for the story from our own ExevaloN, and he produced this magnificent piece:
Image
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by Snipes »

As much as I would like to keep up with the fanfiction, I think my heart is just with my own independent works at the moment, along with my literary criticism. I'd still very much like to keep correspondence and criticism going with you guys though, so I'll definitely try to lend some of my thoughts to your more recent projects. It's the least I could do considering some of the rather poignant insights I was given in the past.

I'm not sure if you guys have any interest, but if any of you would like to trade non-shining related literary works via email, I'd definitely be down to read and submit some things. Actually had the opportunity to train under a famous science fiction writer named Samuel Delany last year and I feel like I've definitely improved as a writer and a critic due to the experience.
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by Martin III »

As scheduled, the first chapter of my new Shining novel, "Shining Cloud", is now up on Fanfiction.net. Here is the quick link for you to check it out. Any comments are much appreciated. I already have plenty of surprises in store with this one, so be sure to tune in for a new chapter every two weeks.
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by TheUnknownMarine »

Hard to tell what's going on given it's a first chapter. On the whole, good work.

If you were aiming to underline how creepy Hindel II is, you've done a superb job. If you were trying to make him sympathetic, you have not succeeded. Deanna's stance on Iom still makes me laugh, not in that you've done a poor job writing him as a religious apologist, but simply because he's a certain kind of apologist that I find funny like a clown. The surreality of the conversation was something else. I kept seeing it like a twisted version of that scene in Star Wars.

"Dad, I want to submit my application to the Iom Academy this year."

"...can't let you go. You know harvest season is when I need you the most."

"But I was going to go down to Tosche Station and perform some blood sacrifices!"

"You can waste time with your friends when you're older Hindel!"

"But they'd be WILLING sacrifices!"

Nothing on you, I don't really think there's a way to make a conversation like that work and NOT have it be surreal. You can use that to your advantage of course to underline how screwed up life in Iom is, though.

Anyway, as always, I look forward to seeing Iom worship being completely dismantled and their god crumbling to dust. I'm also intrigued by the pair on the beach. Two swordsmen in time frame with allies, I'm tempted to say Max and Ian, but since when are they talking about barbarians and conquest? More likely OCs, I'd wager. All the same, the ending of Apocalyptica vibe is nice.
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by Martin III »

Thanks, Marine. As always, it's great to get your thoughts. I am trying to make Hindel sympathetic - after all, he's the protagonist for the first 8 or 9 chapters - but I certainly don't expect anyone to sympathize with him after just one chapter. We haven't even learned all his whys and wherefores yet.

Also: Chapter 2 is now up, as scheduled.
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by TheUnknownMarine »

All systems stop, surface, and standby.

They're STILL doing human sacrifice in Iom? No one's done anything about that?

Man alive, the SFCD crew shat the bed on this one. Allowing Iom worship to continue was bad enough, but to continue in a form that still allows human sacrifice? Wow.

On moral grounds, I can't think of any excuse for allowing this sort of thing. I'll assume the political excuses were used, which is very disappointing as I expect more from a Shining Force.
"We can't expect Iom to solve all our problems for us!" Hindel burst out. "If we're his people, we have to do better than that! If we don't, how can we expect him to save us when we really need him? He didn't choose us as his people just so we would turn into... into... into pampered children! We're supposed to use his gifts to make ourselves into something better! We..."
Words that closely mimic words I've spoken in countless debates about faith and ones that disturb me coming from the mouth of someone who wants to kill people for his god so that god can EAT them.

If you're the sort of person willing to perform human sacrifice for a faith, you're either an idiot or an asshole. Either way doesn't bode well for Hindel being someone I would root for, although it is possible you're setting him up for the standard redemption arc.

However... Deanna's acceptance of this facet of his god is a severe point against him, and by extension Natasha. It makes his moral convictions seem lackluster and fair-weather. It makes him seem less a hero and more someone with the skills of a grand-master but the soul of a wimp.

The fact that Iom Shrine still exists honestly does the same to most of the SFCD force. It should've been razed to the ground and the priesthood put to death.

I'm not sure where you're going with this, but the apologist tone of what's going on so far is making me wonder. Natasha's firmer stance against Iom helps, but her lack of action is counteracts that.
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by Martin III »

Ever tried wiping out a religion, Marine? It's a lot harder than you'd think. ;) Organized movements to eliminate religions have been going on for thousands of years and continue to this day all over the world, with no real success. You can burn the shrines and churches, but they'll just build new ones. You can kill the practitioners but that just makes them into martyrs. And stop Iomites from performing sacrifices to their god? Heck, we can't even make Indians lift the bans against killing cows.

The Shining Force crew would be particularly helpless on that front. As Jengh pointed out to Natasha in "Hope for the Nations", foreigners dictating which gods people should and shouldn't worship doesn't go over well at all. (Imagine how you'd feel if someone from Saudi Arabia visited the USA and started preaching to everyone that Christianity and Atheism are morally wrong and all non-Muslim places of worship should be burned to the ground.) Of the SF CD party, only Deanna and Rohde are native to Iom. Deanna can't give up serving Iom because, if you remember from "Deanna and Natasha", Iom actually spoke to him, so he knows how great his hunger is. To shamelessly quote my own stuff: "All the shame he'd ever felt, all his remorse at the hurt he'd caused Natasha with his deception, all his grief over Hindel's death, was but a cup of water in a vast sea compared to that insatiable hunger". It would be like having a starving man living in your house and never giving him anything to eat; hard to keep it up for more than a day or two, much less a lifetime.

I wouldn't say Hindel's desire to perform human sacrifice makes him "an idiot or an asshole"; it just means he's willing to back up his beliefs with actions. In SF CD, Natasha and the rest of her party were willing to kill a lot of people (people who didn't want to be killed, at that) because saving Prince Nick and defending Cypress was that important to them. Similarly, Hindel is willing to kill people because his god is that important to him.

And to close things out, chapter 3 is up right on schedule.
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by TheUnknownMarine »

If Iom's hunger is that great, the goal should be his destruction in order to put him out of his misery. No matter how hungry a starving man is, killing another sapient being is not justified, ESPECIALLY if all it brings is a momentary respite from that hunger, as you seem to indicate.

Hindel is indeed, either an idiot (I'm killing them but it's OK because they're going to a better place/my god says it's absolutely necessary) or an asshole (I'm killing them, but it's OK because it's the will of Iom which trumps all). That those are his convictions doesn't change the fact they are evil actions born out of either ignorance or immorality.

If Iom is important enough to Hindel to disregard basic morality... then I agree with Brehen. He classifies as a threat to humanity and must be killed if he cannot be redeemed.

As a side note, I found it a tad ludicrous that you seriously compared a religion based around human sacrifice to Christianity and atheism.

As for wiping out religions, it's happened tons of times in the past. Just ask the ancient Israelites... though a far more appropriate example would be Cortes and his conquistadors. Cortes conquered a hostile empire that was built around a religion in which human sacrifice was central, and that faith was ground into the dust. You'll be hard-pressed to find a modern day cult of Quetzalcoatl. It's actually not particularly hard to do, it just requires a lot of work. Of course with the advent of globalization, most of these efforts have ceased because most modern religions are relatively benign with the exception of extremists. I've no doubt that if someone tried to start a modern day cult based around human sacrifice the authorities of whatever nation they were in would act to counter that.

Barring of course, those nations currently in chaos due to anarchy or war.

All that being said, it could be argued that Cypress simply did not have the manpower to conduct a proper purge, though the question remains why they didn't raze what temples they found at least.
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Re: The Unofficial Fanfic Thread 3

Post by Martin III »

Chapter 4 is now up, on schedule. This is a major one. Let's just say that there's a plot point I've been waiting to unveil for years, so I'm pretty psyched that I finally get to share it with my readers. I will bite my tongue there for fear of spoilers.

Marine: Iom isn't miserable; I was just using a starving man as a crude analogy to give an idea of Deanna's position. Eating is only a momentary respite from hunger for all living beings. I'm guessing that "sapient being" was a typo and you meant "sentient being", but either way, I doubt that Deanna would ever agree that the animals he sacrifices to Iom fit that term.

Your judgment of Hindel is based solely on the assumption that human sacrifice trumps all other wrongs, including other forms of killing. That's purely subjective, and I can't see any basis for it aside from human sacrifice being the least fashionable form of killing in our own culture.

I find it a tad ludicrous that you think Christianity and atheism aren't religions. Care to elaborate?

Cortes and the conquistadors didn't wipe out a religion; they wiped out a civilization. Efforts to wipe out civilizations have largely ceased in the modern era, but efforts to wipe out religions most definitely have not. It makes no difference whether the religions are "relatively benign" or not. More to the point, I'm not clear on why you think that human sacrifice is totally indefensible because it's taking a human life, yet wiping out an entire civilization is perfectly okay. That's taking thousands of lives in order to save a few dozen.

I never said that Cypress didn't raze those shrines to Iom that they found, though again, I'm unclear why you're so gung ho in favor of slash-and-burn warfare. It doesn't seem very heroic to me.

Incidentally, Marine, in a previous debate we had on Iom's religion, you brought up the Light. If you hadn't guessed, that was what inspired me to mention it in "Ten Years Later" (and it's going to have a somewhat more plot-significant role in "Shining Cloud"). I don't think I ever credited you for that.
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